Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Twitter, Bloggers and Narcissism
I was inspired to write a note about blogging after reading Rebecca Thorman's blog.
In it, Rebecca gives her plan for anyone interested in becoming an expert at anything quickly. If you've read Rebecca's blog before, you know that her posts are always about learning and growth, more about finding your way through life than any get-smart-quick plan. This one is no different. It isn't encouraging the purchase of an e-book download and it isn't an infomercial.
Let me outline the message for you (as I understand it).
*The best way to have the knowledge you want in life is to not be afraid to drop what you are currently doing. (Job hopping is o.k., [especially if you are being held back, but I"d like to add, be smart about it.])
*Take risks. Jump before you are ready.
*Expect to fail if doing so, but of course, try your best not to.
*Finally and most importantly, teach others what you've learned [and this can come through blogging, designing a class or creating a group of like-minded people. You decide what that means for you].
<--I'd like to add an important bullet point right about here. In just being able to do this, you must being willing to get over yourself. One form of risk-taking is publishing something you aren't absolutely certain is popular, or even accurate. Preface it with "I'm not an expert" if you must, but don't allow your ego to keep you from doing it. You've heard that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission? It certainly applies to yourself. When deciding between two actions, it is usually best to choose the one from which you will learn the most. If you aren't teaching others what you think you know, you simply haven't given yourself permission to do so. If you are teaching others and it turns out you have taught the wrong thing, you make amends... and that builds integrity. In the process (what she suggests) you become an expert (quickly).
All of this, along with a tweet from @leozap that suggests that Twitter is an exercise in narcissism, brings about the question of why people tweet or blog in the first place. I admit to being one of those people who initially made fun of bloggers. In fact, that was the subject of one of my first posts (oh, the irony). I've recently read snarky hurtful comments from my friends about the legitimacy of certain bloggers. It is a common thing to do. You don't agree with a post or tweet and you may think they are a "friggin' lunatic", so you jump over to Facebook and take a jab at them or their message. (What happens however, is that it says more about your character than the person you are taking a jab at.) It is easy to judge a person by their words without considering the reason they are speaking out in the first place....and yet it is another opportunity to ask for forgiveness.
Let me be the first to say that what Rebecca Thorman suggests really works. Through trial and error, through blogging and retracting, you find the information you've been looking for, whatever that might be. However, it is one of the tougest things to do, because you have to be willing to get over yourself. In the paraphrased words of Maya Angelou, you have to be willing to say, "I just didn't know any better back then, but I know now." What you end up with is a deep seated knowledge that you know what you are talking about even if other people still think you are a "friggin' lunatic".
Wikipedia defines narcissism as the "the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego". I say that blogging and/or tweeting is being willing to lose the ego, forget about self-image, and simply learn, grow...
I know I've mentioned Rebecca before and I don't want to squat on her creativity, but she truly inspires me. If you find this interesting, you can find much more insightful content on her blog.
A side note: I said my next post would be about codependency but it is a much deeper subject and will take a little longer for me to process. Also, I've been so busy lately trying to decipher the significance of my obsession with the parentheses mark (not really) and my intense disdain for quotation marks (actual truth).
Another note: @leozap is a very cool guy. I hope he reconsiders leaving Twitter.
In it, Rebecca gives her plan for anyone interested in becoming an expert at anything quickly. If you've read Rebecca's blog before, you know that her posts are always about learning and growth, more about finding your way through life than any get-smart-quick plan. This one is no different. It isn't encouraging the purchase of an e-book download and it isn't an infomercial.
Let me outline the message for you (as I understand it).
*The best way to have the knowledge you want in life is to not be afraid to drop what you are currently doing. (Job hopping is o.k., [especially if you are being held back, but I"d like to add, be smart about it.])
*Take risks. Jump before you are ready.
*Expect to fail if doing so, but of course, try your best not to.
*Finally and most importantly, teach others what you've learned [and this can come through blogging, designing a class or creating a group of like-minded people. You decide what that means for you].
<--I'd like to add an important bullet point right about here. In just being able to do this, you must being willing to get over yourself. One form of risk-taking is publishing something you aren't absolutely certain is popular, or even accurate. Preface it with "I'm not an expert" if you must, but don't allow your ego to keep you from doing it. You've heard that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission? It certainly applies to yourself. When deciding between two actions, it is usually best to choose the one from which you will learn the most. If you aren't teaching others what you think you know, you simply haven't given yourself permission to do so. If you are teaching others and it turns out you have taught the wrong thing, you make amends... and that builds integrity. In the process (what she suggests) you become an expert (quickly).
All of this, along with a tweet from @leozap that suggests that Twitter is an exercise in narcissism, brings about the question of why people tweet or blog in the first place. I admit to being one of those people who initially made fun of bloggers. In fact, that was the subject of one of my first posts (oh, the irony). I've recently read snarky hurtful comments from my friends about the legitimacy of certain bloggers. It is a common thing to do. You don't agree with a post or tweet and you may think they are a "friggin' lunatic", so you jump over to Facebook and take a jab at them or their message. (What happens however, is that it says more about your character than the person you are taking a jab at.) It is easy to judge a person by their words without considering the reason they are speaking out in the first place....and yet it is another opportunity to ask for forgiveness.
Let me be the first to say that what Rebecca Thorman suggests really works. Through trial and error, through blogging and retracting, you find the information you've been looking for, whatever that might be. However, it is one of the tougest things to do, because you have to be willing to get over yourself. In the paraphrased words of Maya Angelou, you have to be willing to say, "I just didn't know any better back then, but I know now." What you end up with is a deep seated knowledge that you know what you are talking about even if other people still think you are a "friggin' lunatic".
Wikipedia defines narcissism as the "the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego". I say that blogging and/or tweeting is being willing to lose the ego, forget about self-image, and simply learn, grow...
I know I've mentioned Rebecca before and I don't want to squat on her creativity, but she truly inspires me. If you find this interesting, you can find much more insightful content on her blog.
A side note: I said my next post would be about codependency but it is a much deeper subject and will take a little longer for me to process. Also, I've been so busy lately trying to decipher the significance of my obsession with the parentheses mark (not really) and my intense disdain for quotation marks (actual truth).
Another note: @leozap is a very cool guy. I hope he reconsiders leaving Twitter.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Codependency and the Authenticity of Social Media
I am working on a post as a follow-up to my last entry. It will be about codependency and how it relates to my last post (I am surprised only one person called me out on it!) and also how social media keeps a gal real. In the mean time, here are some signs you may be codependent.
A codependent has:
*A tendecy to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own
*Continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others
*Anxiety and boundary distortions
*Difficulty expressing feelings
*Excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings
*Undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others
*Self-esteem dependent on approval by others
*Tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others
Just an FYI - I was a codependent for many years. Posting such info publicly shows I've come a long way! Learning how to embrace these tendencies and use them in a positive way is a challenge all in itself and deserves a separate post altoghether.
A codependent has:
*A tendecy to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own
*Continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others
*Anxiety and boundary distortions
*Difficulty expressing feelings
*Excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings
*Undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others
*Self-esteem dependent on approval by others
*Tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others
Just an FYI - I was a codependent for many years. Posting such info publicly shows I've come a long way! Learning how to embrace these tendencies and use them in a positive way is a challenge all in itself and deserves a separate post altoghether.
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